We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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