At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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