3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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