I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
