i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
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