She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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