he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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