It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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