I'm jealous of your bromance
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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