He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
it hurts more in the daytime
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
In America we eat man semen.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
