Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize