I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
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