this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
