i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize