You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
