get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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