omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
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I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
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I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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