First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
wow bdsm is so cute
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
