i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
