If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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