Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
