You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
