i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
