why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
