my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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