Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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