go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
