his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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