if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
