sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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