I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
