I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
