How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
