I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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