my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
