At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize