i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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