at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
