I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
