don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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