Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
