so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
