I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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