I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
