You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
