Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.

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(702): View more from Nevada

if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases

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(516): View more from New York

he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.

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(647): View more from Ontario

She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(423): View more from Tennessee

just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party

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(479): View more from Arkansas

If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.

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(773): View more from Illinois

You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!

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