Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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