i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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