so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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