i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
