Your face is a jimmy john
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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