we have officially mastered the walk of shame
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
