Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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