walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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