none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
