i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Randomize
