I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
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