margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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