Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
