and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
