Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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