How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
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Hippo gnu deer
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
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I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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