Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm bleeding and have questions
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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