Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So vagazzling was a success
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize