Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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