I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
