MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
