I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just had sex on a roof
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
