id be glad to
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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