he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
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when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
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Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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