so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
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I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
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Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize